Second Life

Finding Your Tribe

This is the last post in this series.

I've been writing about finding your passions and your talents. But I've realized that I'm missing a critically important piece of the puzzle that I've come to believe is necessary for you to make the changes you want and need. That piece is finding your tribe, your community of like-minded people who "get" what you're trying to do with your life and are along for the journey.

One of the most powerful of human needs is the need to belong. We feel we belong when we're accepted and appreciated for who we are. When others see and understand who we are deep down. When we feel like we're flowing with the tide of the people around us, rather than against it. Even for the more introverted among us (and I count myself in that number), there's still a strong need to be a part of a group that can feed the deepest parts of ourselves.

I've worked with both individuals and groups who are going through career changes and I will tell you that it's always better with a group. As an individual, yes you need time for thinking and reflection and not everything should be done as a group exercise, but I've found that more people have gained more insight through the process of interacting with others than they have by going it alone. It's why I prefer to do career counseling with a group if at all possible. Everyone wins.

The other thing I've found is that you often cannot rely on the "usual suspects" to help you in this process. Thinking in a profound way about what you want to do with your work life is akin to getting a divorce or finding out you have a serious illness. You begin re-thinking the very foundations of who you are and the only other people who "get that" are people who are going through it themselves. And many times, the people you usually count on have their own issues and fears about the changes your considering. Your partner may worry about what this will do to your financial situation. Your mother may want to keep bragging to her friends about "her daughter the doctor." Or your best friend from work may be worried that your friendship will end if you make a change.

So as critical to finding your passions, your talents and your purpose, I think, is finding a tribe who can support you in your journey. You can share your thoughts here--we're happy to be your tribe. Or you can seek out like-minded people where you live. Wherever you look, be sure that you find them. The path will be much easier if you're not on it alone.

Michele

Recycling as a Budget Strategy while Helping Your Neighbors

Part of living your dream is financing it, or at least being financially able to pursue your passions. I think part of being financially independent is to stop being the consumer that Madison Avenue wants you to be. You really don't have to have the latest and greatest of everything, even though the advertisers try to convince us we do. But that's what their paid to do. In December, I posted about joining a recycling group. Boy, did I underestimate that. The group is called freecycling and they are pretty outstanding. I've heard a couple of different versions of how they started, but according to their web-site, they were started by a group that was trying to reduce the amount of things ending up in America's landfills. They prescribed to the belief that one person's garbage is another person's treasure. But this stuff is far from garbage. Well, I joined in my area and let me tell you, they screen you because they want this to be community focused, neighbor to neighbor use. I see from their web-site they have organizations is other countries. Every day I get emails regarding the following:

1) Offering: This is something someone in your community no longer have need of. This isn't just small items.

2) Needs: People who are looking for items post their need.

3) Taken: This keeps everybody up-to-date on what's come and gone.

I have been amazed by the volume that is going on in my community. If you're not one for garage sales, or EBay seems unrealistic because of size or actual return values, consider this option. Actually, you may want to consider it first for the fact that you are filling a neighbor's need for something you no longer want. Besides, you would be surprised by the level of things changing hands. As you'll read on one of the links I provided, one woman was looking for kitchen cabinets and other person was getting new cabinets but getting rid of perfectly fine cabinets. A match made in heaven. What they want you to understand is that this is not trading, it is gifting. You offer what you have and somebody comes and gets it. Hey at the very least, you're not having to haul it off, mess with selling it, or filling up our landfills. But as a member of the group, you post for what you're looking for and who knows? Somebody may have the very thing you need.

I read an article on Yahoo (sorry, I couldn't find it again to put a link in here) that one of the founder's wanted to see how long they could go before buying something. One of them went a year!! Can you imagine what your net would look like if you went a year without buying anything except food and the like? I invite you to join in your neighborhood. I don't think you'll be sorry.

Jann