Second Life

Finding Your Tribe

This is the last post in this series.

I've been writing about finding your passions and your talents. But I've realized that I'm missing a critically important piece of the puzzle that I've come to believe is necessary for you to make the changes you want and need. That piece is finding your tribe, your community of like-minded people who "get" what you're trying to do with your life and are along for the journey.

One of the most powerful of human needs is the need to belong. We feel we belong when we're accepted and appreciated for who we are. When others see and understand who we are deep down. When we feel like we're flowing with the tide of the people around us, rather than against it. Even for the more introverted among us (and I count myself in that number), there's still a strong need to be a part of a group that can feed the deepest parts of ourselves.

I've worked with both individuals and groups who are going through career changes and I will tell you that it's always better with a group. As an individual, yes you need time for thinking and reflection and not everything should be done as a group exercise, but I've found that more people have gained more insight through the process of interacting with others than they have by going it alone. It's why I prefer to do career counseling with a group if at all possible. Everyone wins.

The other thing I've found is that you often cannot rely on the "usual suspects" to help you in this process. Thinking in a profound way about what you want to do with your work life is akin to getting a divorce or finding out you have a serious illness. You begin re-thinking the very foundations of who you are and the only other people who "get that" are people who are going through it themselves. And many times, the people you usually count on have their own issues and fears about the changes your considering. Your partner may worry about what this will do to your financial situation. Your mother may want to keep bragging to her friends about "her daughter the doctor." Or your best friend from work may be worried that your friendship will end if you make a change.

So as critical to finding your passions, your talents and your purpose, I think, is finding a tribe who can support you in your journey. You can share your thoughts here--we're happy to be your tribe. Or you can seek out like-minded people where you live. Wherever you look, be sure that you find them. The path will be much easier if you're not on it alone.

Michele

Talents + Passion = ??

I know, I know. By now you're begging for mercy. We're almost there. I promise. Just a few more posts to go and you'll have everything all figured out. Alright, I lied. You'll have SOME things figured out anyway.

Find Your Zen Place
If you've been doing as I've suggested, by now you should have reams of paper on your passions and your talents. What to do with it all? It's time to go to your "Zen Place" and write your career manifesto. It will become your blueprint and your path to finding your purpose.

Where, you may ask, is your "Zen Place?" I don't know. It might be at Starbucks in the middle of the afternoon. It could be in your family room or living room late on a Wednesday night when everyone's asleep. Or it may be in the early morning light of your kitchen with a cup of coffee and the cat purring loudly next to you. Wherever it is, it's the place were you are able to think calmly and clearly with no interruptions and as little negativity as possible.

Strangle The Little Men in Your Head
By now you're thinking that I'm insane, but I promise that I'm not. Your next step is to get rid of all of the critical voices in your head that may have taken up residence there. In fact, because you've been doing so much thinking about what you really want, those voices may be louder than ever, hounding you to just stay in your old life because it's so much SAFER there.

For this part to work, though, you have to get these guys to shut up while you're in your Zen Place. It may take a glass of wine or two (that always works for me) or it may mean meditation or music or a blow to the head. I don't care. You need to get them to shut up and let you THINK for an hour. Don't move on until they're willing to cooperate.

It's Manifesto Time
OK, so you're feeling all Zen. And the "voices" are quiet for now. It's time for your manifesto. Here's what I want you to do:

1. Pull out your journal and everything else that you've managed to accumulate during the course of the previous exercises and read through everything you've got. Keep an open mind as you go through this first time. Just let it all wash over you.
2. After the first time through, go back again for a more careful review. Write down key words, themes, etc. that jump out at you. What are the patterns that you see? How do you see your passions and your talents intersecting? How aligned is your current life with the picture that's emerging? What does that tell you about yourself and where you want to go? Really be honest and pay attention here. It's important.
3. Now I want you to write your career manifesto. What's a manifesto? It's a "public declaration of intentions and principles." In other words, it's a series of key statements about what you will be seeking in your career and your life. Each statement is positive and in the present tense. You will say things like "My work is utilizing my key talent in seeing the big picture. It provides me with the opportunity to look for patterns and ideas and to write about what I see."
4. I'm not into "shoulds," but I'm going to tell you that for the best effect, you want your manifesto to have enough statements and detail to capture the most important information you've uncovered about yourself. You want it to be an inspiration to you and to give you what you need to discover your purpose and how you can use your talents and passions for the most impact. For some people, that means you'll be writing 20 statements. Other people may be able to get it together in 5. It's up to you, but don't short-change yourself here. It's a manifesto. It's who you are so don't make it less than the full enchilada.

Now Put it Away for a Week and Let it Marinate Some More
That's right. You heard me. Put it away and don't look at it for at least 7 days. At the end of that week, read your manifesto again. Does it make your heart sing? Does it get you excited and thinking about possibilities? If so, then it's perfect and you're ready to move on. If not, then you may need to do some more work on it. Don't rush it. Don't worry about it. These things come in their time. Forcing it isn't going to make it happen any faster, I can assure you from long, hard experience.

A Caveat About the Voices Though
You didn't really think that you could get away without me bringing up those voices again, did you?

One thing I need you to keep in mind when you're reading your manifesto again is this. Sometimes you'll go back and look at what you've written and you won't feel excited anymore. You'll think "Well, I'm not nearly as excited as I was last week. It must be because my manifesto hasn't quite captured it for me." That may be true. Or it may mean that the voices have talked you out of thinking that you can actually achieve your career dreams. They may have begun the steady drumbeat of negativity that talks you right back into that job you know you hate, but at least it's a job. Don't let them do this. They are not your friends.

When you're reviewing your manifesto, I want you to read it with the complete confidence that you will get what you want. Don't worry about how or when. For now, just read it with the optimism of a child and see how it makes you feel. If it makes you feel good, then you're on the right track. If it doesn't, THEN consider doing more work on it.

After the Manifesto
So with your career manifesto in hand, it's time to congratulate yourself. Have a glass of wine or something chocolate or whatever you do to celebrate your victories. You've earned it. You may also want to check out some other manifestos. Only a few are related to career(read Pam's on "Accountability Breeds Passion and Desire" for some inspiration. The rest are just interesting and fun to read.

Next time, it's back to work. In the next post, we'll see how you can discover your purpose.

Michele

Discovering Your Talents

If you've been following along with us here, by now you should have a pretty good idea of your passions. Next up on the list are your talents.

I'm going to give you two choices here for looking at what you do best. One is what I consider to be the "investment version." The other is the "low rent, but serviceable option." It's up to you which route you go.

The "High End, But Worth it Baby" Version
Without a doubt, one of the best strategies for finding your talents that Jann and I know is in the book Now Discover Your Strengths by Marcus Buckingham. Yes, it will cost you money, but it's oh so worth it if you're really serious about finding what you do best.

Buckingham believes (and I do, too), that each person has unique talents that are relatively unchanging and core to who they are. The path to excellence and fulfillment lies in three  things--understanding your core strengths,  developing knowledge and skills that support your key strengths and learning to manage around your weaknesses.

Managing around your weaknesses is a post for another day. What you need to focus on now is identifying your key strengths and Buckingham's book will help you do that. By buying the book, you also get access to an online assessment that will help you identify your personal top 5 talents from the core group of 34 themes in the book. You can also go the cheaper route and check out the book from the library, self-identifying your themes based on the descriptions there. But I'll warn you that it may not be entirely accurate--my assessment results gave me some top themes that I hadn't seen as being tops for me.

If you go with Buckingham's  core themes, once you've identified them I invite you to once again reflect on what this tells you about yourself. Is your current job or career making the most of your signature talents? Or is your light being hidden under a bushel? Worse, does your current job actually play to your weaknesses? Don't be surprised if it does--which may explain a lot about why you're feeling a mismatch or aren't performing at your peak.

Remember, when it comes to talents, you want to find work that works WITH the flow of who you are, not against it.

The "Low Rent But It Will Do In a Pinch" Version
Another way for you to consider your talents is by going through the Pride Exercise.

Take out 7 pieces of paper or set aside 7 pages in your journal. On each page, think about an experience you've had that fills you with pride. When did you feel like you were really doing something amazing and in tune with yourself? What was great about that experience? Try to get as detailed as possible in your descriptions, particularly in terms of what skills and talents you were using in that activity.  Think about both personal and professional activities. Think about those "trial by fire" moments where you had to pull something out of yourself that you thought might not be there, but that in the end turned out to be exactly what was needed.

If you can't come up with 7 things, then you aren't thinking hard enough. :-) Seriously, though, if you really can't, then try talking to positive people in your life whose opinions you trust. See what ideas they have. Have them tell the story.

Once you have your 7 stories, go back through and identify the common themes. What talents or strengths were you using? Were all the stories about writing something? Or about managing difficult people or solving a tough problem?  Write all of these thoughts down to get some clarity on your key talents.

Another thing to think about--how recent are these stories? If you don't have at least a few from the last year, and at least one from the last 6 months, then I'm going to ask you to seriously consider what you're doing right now. Life is too short for you to be working a job that doesn't play to what you do well and to what you can feel good about. It's time to start thinking about something different if you can't find something that makes you really proud in the last few months.

Next Steps
As always, let this all ferment. Think, write, talk to other people. Let your talents emerge and begin to take root in you.

Next time, we're going to pull together your passions and your talents so that we can begin to discover your purpose.

Michele

If you've missed MIchele's earlier posts in this series, catch up here:

Finding Your Passions

Where Purpose, Passion, and Talent Meet

What Do You Value?

Pam at Escape from Cubicle Nation has a wonderful New Year's post on making this year your year for freedom. She describes 12 ways to get more freedom into your life, each one a gem and I encourage you to check out her thoughts.

What I want to emphasize here, though, is that Pam is describing a key component of understanding your passions--that is, understanding your values, what's important to you. Pam has clearly found that freedom is a key value for her, not only in her work life but in all facets of her life. And she's made the important decision to bring her life into alignment with that value. I want to teach you how to do the same thing.

First, Know Your Values
As I said, your values are what's important to you in life. Some values may change over time--for example, caring for your children may be a primary value when they're younger, but becomes less important as they get older and more independent.  Other values tend to remain relatively constant.  I suspect that Pam's need for freedom is something that's always been there for her, although how she deals with that may have changed over time.

I firmly believe that the amount of satisfaction you get from your work and your life will be directly proportional to the degree that you understand your values and you have aligned your life with those values. But to truly understand them, you need to take a little time to look, first. So get out your journal . . . (you knew I was going to say that, didn't you?)

Stop the Voices in Your Head
Before you do anything else, stifle the voices in your head that tell you what you "should" value. Often that's how you got here in the first place, by listening to those voices. It's time to shut them up. It doesn't matter what your mother thinks. Or your significant other or your friends or "society." What matters is what YOU find to be important, what motivates and energizes YOU, not them. So ignore that voice that's telling you what you "should" do and try to hear the one that's just you.

The Checklist for Personal Values
In 1998, I was at a career crossroads and needed to make some major changes in my life. After a weekend with Charlotte Roberts' Checklist for Personal Values and my journal, I walked into my boss on Monday morning and quit my job. So you can see that this can be a pretty powerful force in the right circumstances.

What I want you to do is review Charlotte's checklist and follow the instructions to identify your top values. But before you do the prioritizing of values, I want you to really think about what you mean by each of the values you select. For example, for me, creativity was a huge thing. I needed to have that in my life. But how I felt and expressed creativity was different than how someone else might see it. Some people see creativity as being able to be artistic. Others see it in a larger sense of being able to explore and try out new ideas. To really understand how and why a value resonates for you, you need to think about exactly what you mean when you picture having that value in your life. Then go ahead and prioritize.

The Values Collage
More visual people and those who really struggle with that internal critic may benefit from adapting yesterday's collage exercise to explore their values. Go through your magazines again and find pictures and words that speak to what's important to you and put them in your journal or into a new collage. You might also pull personal memorabilia for this project--photos of family members, scrapbook items, etc. that say something about your personal values. Use the visual flow of information to dig down into what's important to you.

For the Very Career Focused
My personal belief is that your values permeate every aspect of your life, and getting clear about your overall values will be your surest route to satisfaction. But I also understand that some people are very "task-focused" and want to explore their values in the specific context of work. So one inventory you may want to try is this one. Strictly speaking, it covers some areas outside of what I would consider to be values, but it's still a good quick worksheet for those who are so inclined.

Now Ask Yourself--Is My Life in Alignment With My Values?
Regardless of the values identification strategies you used above, your next step is to look at whether or not your life is currently in alignment with your values. I'm going to warn you right now that if you're feeling dissatisfaction with your life, there's a high probability that at least some parts of your life are not supporting your core value structure. For most people I know, the greatest sources of sadness and frustration are living lives that are not in concert with their values, often because they are not conscious of the connections between the two.

How Do Your Activities Support Your Values?
For each value you selected, I want you to think honestly and carefully about your life and what activities you're engaging in that support that value. Let's say you wrote that "family" is important to you. I want you to write down everything you did in the last month that made that value visible in your life. Did you have family dinners?  Did you spend time with members of your family? Who did you spend time with? Is there someone you "left out?"

Please be very honest and very detailed in completing this list. It will tell you a lot about the alignment--or lack of alignment--you may be dealing with in your life.

How Would You Live Your Life Differently if You Were Going to Align it With Your Values?
Once you've listed everything you're currently doing to support your values, I want you to think carefully about what you would do differently to get your life more into alignment. How would work be different? How would you spend your "off-hours"? Again, be honest with yourself. But I also want you to think big--what would you REALLY want to have happening in your life? Don't worry right now about what's "possible." Just focus on what you need and want to do differently to be more aligned with your true self.

Take a Break
By now, you probably need to take a break. Give yourself some time to breathe and reflect and when you've been away from this for a few hours or days, come back to see what you've created. Look back at your passion exercises. Look at what you said about your values. If you have the right supportive people in your life, talk with them about what you're seeing and get their ideas and feedback too. Keep taking notes, observing and thinking. You'll be pulling all of this together later on, so for now, let it ferment and develop.

Next up, we'll take a look at your talents.

Michele

Finding Your Passions

Last Tuesday we started talking about finding the intersections between your Purpose, your Talents and Your Passions. Today I want to share with you some thoughts on how you can begin to discover your passions.

First, Remember That This is a Journey of Discovery
Many women I know are control freaks and perfectionists. I happen to be both of these things so I know whereof I speak.

One thing I know about we controlling perfectionists is that we want to always know what's around the bend, the one "right answer," the thing we can do to perfectly control the outcomes of our lives. But this is something you're just going to have to give up on your road to discovering who you are.

The truth is, many of us have learned to hide both our passions and our talents. For many complex personal and cultural reasons, it's been safer for many of us to pursue a path of what's "acceptable" rather than a path toward what we really want.

When we get into this headspace of wanting to control things, that's when we miss what we've hidden. We think we already know the answers and so we don't particularly want to be open to some of the questions. So I'm going to ask you to start by letting go of all preconceived ideas about yourself, all of the "shoulds" and "oughts"--all of that crap. I'm going to ask you to be an explorer in your own life and to be willing to be open to what may turn out to be some very surprising information about yourself. If you can't promise that, then you're not ready to begin the trip.

Exploring Your Passions

Kathy Ryndak and Gord Ridell write in the December issue of Vitality Magazine about some great strategies for living with passion. In addition to exploring your childhood dreams (as I mentioned yesterday), they also suggest creating a stream of consciousness list of all the things that get you excited, letting your imagination run wild and not stopping to edit yourself. Then go through your list and see how these things really make you feel.

I'm going to take things one step further, though. When you start to (inevitably) hear that critical voice tell you that you're crazy for thinking that you could live a particular passion, then you need to put a star next to those items. The louder that voice gets, the more stars you should put there. Let me tell you why.

In The Power of Flow (a book I'm currently re-reading and highly recommend) the authors point out that the purpose of our internal critic is to keep us safe. But the problem is that safe doesn't lead to passion. If you think about it, the times when you've felt most alive, most in touch with yourself were probably those times that had at least a tinge of risk to them.

In my experience, the more my brain shouts "You can't DO that," the closer I am to something I really want to do. Unless you're REALLY in touch with yourself (and most people aren't), then that loud voice shouting in your ear is actually pointing you in the direction of what may be your career salvation. So do the opposite of what it says. Listen to your heart, not your head.

Identify Your Passions' Building Blocks

To really get to the heart of your passions, I would suggest following Curt Rosengren's advice to find your passions' "building blocks. As you develop your list of passions, ask yourself "why?" What is it about that passion or idea that gets you excited?

For example, if you think "I'd love working with inner city young people" then think about what it is that excites you about that idea. Is it about helping young people reach their potential? Is there some particular thing you'd like to do with them like teach them photography or mentor them? The more you explore the reasons why an idea or passion is attractive to you, the more you will discover about yourself. This information will then help you broaden your horizons beyond some of your more immediate ideas. You'll gain greater in-depth knowledge of yourself that can offer additional insights you might miss on your first round through.

Get All Artistic With Yourself

An exercise that I've found works very well with most people is the "passion collage."

Your passions are very emotional, visceral pieces of you. Sometimes language can get in the way of tapping into that information, so you need to turn to pictures to bypass that part of your brain that simply can't put things into words. Even if you're someone who uses words frequently and well, I still suggest going through this exercise because it taps into the right side of your brain much more effectively than writing does. And it's in the right side of your brain that you'll find what gets you really excited. So here's what you do:

Gather several different magazines that have a lot of pictures related to the kinds of things that interest you. Find a quiet place to think and start going through them. (You might want to add some music to the mix--this can be helpful in getting you out of your left-brain, logical thinking side and help you tap into your right-brain feeling side)

Go through the magazines absorbing what you see. Look at pictures and phrases. Every time you see something that "speaks" to you, pull out that page and set it aside. Don't think a lot. Don't say "Now why do I like that?" or "Should I really add that to my pile?" If it attracts you in some way, pull it out and set it aside.

Once you've created a nice little pile for yourself, get yourself a glue stick and a large piece of reasonably sturdy paper or cardboard. If you're using an artist's sketchbook as your journal, you may want to paste things directly into your journal. If not, get yourself some sturdy surface to use for your collage.

Now go back through everything you've pulled out. Start cutting out pictures and words that capture what excites you. Try to put as little thought into this process as possible, please. We're trying to bypass your internal critic and the more time you give him/her to speak, the more likely you are to end up with something that's not really "you."

Again, without a lot of thought, start gluing images down on your paper. Let your brain be as free as possible and just give in to the flow of the imagery you're creating. Avoid judging. Avoid looking too closely at what you're doing and just create.

When you've completed the process, sit back and look at what you've created. What pictures and words have you used? How have you put them together? Are certain types of pictures clustered together? What does that mean? What kind of feeling do you get from the overall collage? Is there some larger theme or message that you see there?

Give yourself some time to process this. Then write down your immediate reactions in your journal. What did you discover about yourself? How does it make you feel? Did you see things that surprised you? Scared you a little? Made your brain say "You're KIDDING, right?" Note where you had particularly strong positive and negative reactions--this is all grist for your "passion mill."

You may want to return to your collage later and see if you find anything new. If you have positive, supportive people in your life, you may want to ask them what they see in it that could offer you insight (only do this if you know they are positive, though!). Use the work to get you into some parts of yourself that are beyond words. It will make a difference.

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These are just a few exercises to start tapping into your passions. Another piece of the process is understanding your values--what are the things that are most important to you. These are a "subset" of your passions, similar, but really getting at the ways that you want to live your life. Finding work that's in concert with your values is critical so we're going to spend some time tomorrow looking at how to identify your values in greater depth. 

Michele

Where Purpose, Talents and Passion Meet

For the past few months, I've been letting Jann do the heavy lifting on Second Life, writing the majority of posts and doing most of the thinking while I worked on another one of our projects. In some ways this was good. We wanted to move that project forward. But in some ways it's been bad for me because it's been a purely intellectual outlet, one that has taken me away from my heart in many ways.

All this to say that when Jann asked me to do a series of posts on helping you figure out what you want to be when you grow up, it made me confront something in myself. I'm not sure I'm doing what I want to do when I grow up. So in some ways, this will be a "physician heal thyself" series of posts. And isn't that what blogging is all about--a form of online therapy? :-)

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Don't Start With Thinking About Jobs
It's been my experience that most people try to start looking for a new career by thinking about the jobs that they could be doing. They'll think "well, I always wanted to be a teacher" or "I'd love to go back to school to be a nurse."

While not exactly wrong to do it this way, this is a road that's very limiting. It's based on what you know of various jobs (which is usually not very much) and it assumes that the job you want is a job that exists right now. In today's economy, this is decidedly not the case. By some estimates 75% of the jobs that will be held by today's kindergarteners have not been invented yet. So thinking that you can figure out what you want to do by the jobs that are available is going to automatically make you be less than what you could be. There are plenty of other career barriers that you'll have to deal with. Try not to create them for yourself from the get-go.

Start with Who You Are
Figuring out your next career move really has to start with who you are. There are all kinds of ways to do this and a million assessments that are available online. Some people advocate starting with what you know how to do; others with what you WANT to do. My personal belief is that the best way to enter into your next step is by looking at the intersections between your Purpose, Your Talents and Your Passion.

At The Crossroads
Dave Pollard of How to Save the World has written a really beautiful summary of the process of self-discovery necessary to find your place in the world. This crystallizes a lot of my own thoughts on the subject. I've found that people are most successful when they follow this path.

He writes that  you need to consider three things:

• Your Purpose--What's needed in the world that you're uniquely poised to provide?
• Your Talents--What are your gifts?
• Your Passion--What do you love? What would make you wake up every morning, excited and ready to work?

For a truly fulfilling work life, I think you need to start with understanding your talents and your passions. You can then see where those gifts are needed to help you discover your purpose.

In my next post, I'm going to spend some time helping you think first about your passions. I'll share some exercises and some assessments for you to consider taking. In the meantime, I'm going to suggest that you try a couple of exercises to get yourself "limbered up" for digging deeply into who you are and where you want to go next.

Some Ideas for Getting Started
I'm a big fan of journals. I'll be honest that for the past few months my journal writing had gone by the wayside, but I'm finding that it was a big mistake. I lost one of my most critical strategies for processing what happens in my life and for really understanding who I am and where I'm going.  One of my major New Year's resolutions has been to return to daily journal writing and I'm going to ask you to do the same thing.

Get a Journal
First thing--get a journal. Ideally this will be a new, blank journal. It's a New Year, so it's a perfect time for it. I also believe in starting with an "uncluttered mind" about yourself and a blank journal is a great representation of this.

The type of journal you get is up to you. I personally prefer 8x12 Artists Sketchbooks. They have no lines and the pages are quite large, leaving me plenty of space for rambling and for pasting in articles, pictures, etc. to help me with my thinking. But you have to go with what makes you comfortable. I know people who like beautifully bound journals with handmade papers. Others go with the 69 cent marbled composition books that we used in school. Whatever works for you.

Now that you have your journal, try to find at least a half hour for some quiet thinking and writing. Go to a space where you will feel relaxed and comfortable. Try listening to music. Have a cup of coffee or tea. Not to get all New Age on you, but it's really helpful to get yourself into a mental space of being open and uncritical. Then try these exercises.

 "When I Was 10 I Was Passionate About . . . "
I once read that women are their most "real" selves at about 10 years old. This is the age when we've started to come into our own sense of what interests us and what we're good at. But it's before the dreaded teen years when most of us begin to stifle ourselves in order to "fit in" and attract boys. I didn't believe this until I watched both my daughters start down that path. Now I see that there's a lot of truth to the idea.

So what I'm going to ask you to do is this. Think back to who you were at 10 or 11 years old. What did you spend your time doing? What were you interested in? Try to really put yourself into your 10-year old self and write down everything you can remember about what you loved then. Don't worry that this means your career will have to involve Barbies. What you'll be looking for when you complete this exercise is some of the patterns that emerge about your deep down passions and talents. So just write down everything you can remember.

Once you've completed that, go back through what you've written and start thinking "bigger picture." Find the key themes. Do they involve other people or being alone? Were you really passionate about animals or art or taking care of things?  Did you like to write? Chances are, at least some of these things will be buried treasure that you haven't considered in a while. Reflect on these ideas and write some more to summarize what you discovered and how you think these might be pieces of yourself to explore further as you consider the future.

For me, what I found was that I was very into reading (that hasn't changed) and more specifically, reading about what makes people tick. I also loved making art and playing "pretend" games where I was a pioneer (I was very into "Little House on the Prairie" at that point). 

From those details, a larger picture of who I am begins to emerge. Part of what I love is understanding people and the transformations they go through in their lives. I also love accessing my creative side and using that creativity to inform how I do my work. These were pieces of me that were apparent from a young age, but that I've sometimes lost sight of as I got older. Going through this exercise helped me to start unearthing them and bringing them back into the light.

My Ideal Day
Another way to begin accessing who you are is by thinking through what you would do if you could do anything you wanted with your day. Try to imagine that you didn't have to worry about money or children or spouses or friends or parents. You were able to do just what YOU wanted to do. How would you spend that time? Would you spend it alone or around other people? What activities would you engage in? How would you organize your time? What projects would you want to start?

One caveat here--think of this ideal day in terms of your work life. My ideal day would be spent getting a massage, napping, reading and making art. While I might be able to glean some ideas about myself from the reading and art-making, I'm pretty sure that napping and getting a massage aren't going to help me in my quest to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. So as you think through how you would want to spend your time, think about it in terms of work, not strictly leisure. Again, watch to see what patterns emerge and try to reflect on what they mean for you.

Free Write on "I Want . . . "
If you're like me, it can be hard to bypass that internal judge who makes me question things like my "ideal day." I'll do the previous exercise and then watch as my brain tells me all the reasons that I can't have that ideal day. One strategy for bypassing this internal critic is through stream of consciousness writing where you just let your brain go without giving the critic any time to comment.

If you want to try this, write the phrase "I want . . . " at the top of a new journal page. Then just let yourself go with thinking about what you want from work. Don't try to analyze or think. Just write. Let your mind flow from one thought into another. Keep the pen moving across the page. If you get stuck on what you want, then write "I don't know what I want . . . " or "I think I want . . . " and just keep things moving until a thought of what you really DO want comes to you. You may have to write "I don't know" 10 times before a new thought emerges. That's OK. The point is to keep the pen flowing to bypass that critical brain.

Keep this up until you're certain that you've written down everything that you're thinking. Don't end too early though--force yourself to keep going until you're truly empty. Then go back and read through what you've written. Underline, circle, highlight key phrases. Make notes or add to your thoughts. This will become valuable fodder for your mind to work on as you think about your passions and your gifts.

Now What?
Now you have your brain flowing a little, getting into the groove of thinking about yourself. As you go through your day, let your mind explore what you've written. Jot down notes or ideas as they come to you, but don't get all obsessive about it. This is something that needs to be discovered, not something that needs to be forced, so just let things happen as they will. Try to capture your thoughts, but not to control them.

With this started, you'll be more open to our next topic--exploring your passions.

Michele

Coming Up This Week

I posted a lot regarding getting to know yourself. One of the first steps, especially if you contemplating a career change for your Second Life, is assessing your skills and interests. Even if you have done this in the past, are you really the same person you were at twenty? I'm not. A lot of my interests and skills have changed. One of the many talents that Michele has is that she is a certified Career Development Facilitator Instructor. She will be posting this week about assessments you might consider using, their pros and cons. Michele is really fantastic at this and really helped me a lot when I was looking for the magic bullet that would change my life. (Note: There is no magic one size fits all in assessing your talents. I know, I was disappointed too, and pouted for a week.)

Jann

Be Bold! Career Planning for the Non Profit World

I've reported in earlier posts how many of us are turning to volunteerism in our Second Life. A recent report noted the volunteerism in the US is at an all-time high; and I do think it directly correlates with us baby-boomers looking for ways to contribute. If you are looking for a way to devote more of your time to a cause you are passionate about, maybe it's not volunteerism, but a career change you should consider. Non-profits are being called to action like never before and they are always looking for people of experience and talent. One of the major discussions at a recent non-profit town hall meeting was how do we get more talented people into the non-profit world.

Michele sent this great link for non-profit career planning. It's called, Be Bold. It's tagline is create a career with impact. I love that. Be bold enough to think you can make a difference; be bold enough to change the world. It's a great site and I invite you to look it over, even if you don't think you want to join the non-profit world right now.

Jann