For the past few months, I've been letting Jann do the heavy lifting on Second Life, writing the majority of posts and doing most of the thinking while I worked on another one of our projects. In some ways this was good. We wanted to move that project forward. But in some ways it's been bad for me because it's been a purely intellectual outlet, one that has taken me away from my heart in many ways.
All this to say that when Jann asked me to do a series of posts on helping you figure out what you want to be when you grow up, it made me confront something in myself. I'm not sure I'm doing what I want to do when I grow up. So in some ways, this will be a "physician heal thyself" series of posts. And isn't that what blogging is all about--a form of online therapy? :-)
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Don't Start With Thinking About Jobs
It's been my experience that most people try to start looking for a new career by thinking about the jobs that they could be doing. They'll think "well, I always wanted to be a teacher" or "I'd love to go back to school to be a nurse."
While not exactly wrong to do it this way, this is a road that's very limiting. It's based on what you know of various jobs (which is usually not very much) and it assumes that the job you want is a job that exists right now. In today's economy, this is decidedly not the case. By some estimates 75% of the jobs that will be held by today's kindergarteners have not been invented yet. So thinking that you can figure out what you want to do by the jobs that are available is going to automatically make you be less than what you could be. There are plenty of other career barriers that you'll have to deal with. Try not to create them for yourself from the get-go.
Start with Who You Are
Figuring out your next career move really has to start with who you are. There are all kinds of ways to do this and a million assessments that are available online. Some people advocate starting with what you know how to do; others with what you WANT to do. My personal belief is that the best way to enter into your next step is by looking at the intersections between your Purpose, Your Talents and Your Passion.
At The Crossroads
Dave Pollard of How to Save the World has written a really beautiful summary of the process of self-discovery necessary to find your place in the world. This crystallizes a lot of my own thoughts on the subject. I've found that people are most successful when they follow this path.
He writes that you need to consider three things:
- Your Purpose--What's needed in the world that you're uniquely poised to provide?
- Your Talents--What are your gifts?
- Your Passion--What do you love? What would make you wake up every morning, excited and ready to work?
For a truly fulfilling work life, I think you need to start with understanding your talents and your passions. You can then see where those gifts are needed to help you discover your purpose.
In my next post, I'm going to spend some time helping you think first about your passions. I'll share some exercises and some assessments for you to consider taking. In the meantime, I'm going to suggest that you try a couple of exercises to get yourself "limbered up" for digging deeply into who you are and where you want to go next.
Some Ideas for Getting Started
I'm a big fan of journals. I'll be honest that for the past few months my journal writing had gone by the wayside, but I'm finding that it was a big mistake. I lost one of my most critical strategies for processing what happens in my life and for really understanding who I am and where I'm going. One of my major New Year's resolutions has been to return to daily journal writing and I'm going to ask you to do the same thing.
Get a Journal
First thing--get a journal. Ideally this will be a new, blank journal. It's a New Year, so it's a perfect time for it. I also believe in starting with an "uncluttered mind" about yourself and a blank journal is a great representation of this.
The type of journal you get is up to you. I personally prefer 8x12 Artists Sketchbooks. They have no lines and the pages are quite large, leaving me plenty of space for rambling and for pasting in articles, pictures, etc. to help me with my thinking. But you have to go with what makes you comfortable. I know people who like beautifully bound journals with handmade papers. Others go with the 69 cent marbled composition books that we used in school. Whatever works for you.
Now that you have your journal, try to find at least a half hour for some quiet thinking and writing. Go to a space where you will feel relaxed and comfortable. Try listening to music. Have a cup of coffee or tea. Not to get all New Age on you, but it's really helpful to get yourself into a mental space of being open and uncritical. Then try these exercises.
"When I Was 10 I Was Passionate About . . . "
I once read that women are their most "real" selves at about 10 years old. This is the age when we've started to come into our own sense of what interests us and what we're good at. But it's before the dreaded teen years when most of us begin to stifle ourselves in order to "fit in" and attract boys. I didn't believe this until I watched both my daughters start down that path. Now I see that there's a lot of truth to the idea.
So what I'm going to ask you to do is this. Think back to who you were at 10 or 11 years old. What did you spend your time doing? What were you interested in? Try to really put yourself into your 10-year old self and write down everything you can remember about what you loved then. Don't worry that this means your career will have to involve Barbies. What you'll be looking for when you complete this exercise is some of the patterns that emerge about your deep down passions and talents. So just write down everything you can remember.
Once you've completed that, go back through what you've written and start thinking "bigger picture." Find the key themes. Do they involve other people or being alone? Were you really passionate about animals or art or taking care of things? Did you like to write? Chances are, at least some of these things will be buried treasure that you haven't considered in a while. Reflect on these ideas and write some more to summarize what you discovered and how you think these might be pieces of yourself to explore further as you consider the future.
For me, what I found was that I was very into reading (that hasn't changed) and more specifically, reading about what makes people tick. I also loved making art and playing "pretend" games where I was a pioneer (I was very into "Little House on the Prairie" at that point).
From those details, a larger picture of who I am begins to emerge. Part of what I love is understanding people and the transformations they go through in their lives. I also love accessing my creative side and using that creativity to inform how I do my work. These were pieces of me that were apparent from a young age, but that I've sometimes lost sight of as I got older. Going through this exercise helped me to start unearthing them and bringing them back into the light.
My Ideal Day
Another way to begin accessing who you are is by thinking through what you would do if you could do anything you wanted with your day. Try to imagine that you didn't have to worry about money or children or spouses or friends or parents. You were able to do just what YOU wanted to do. How would you spend that time? Would you spend it alone or around other people? What activities would you engage in? How would you organize your time? What projects would you want to start?
One caveat here--think of this ideal day in terms of your work life. My ideal day would be spent getting a massage, napping, reading and making art. While I might be able to glean some ideas about myself from the reading and art-making, I'm pretty sure that napping and getting a massage aren't going to help me in my quest to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. So as you think through how you would want to spend your time, think about it in terms of work, not strictly leisure. Again, watch to see what patterns emerge and try to reflect on what they mean for you.
Free Write on "I Want . . . "
If you're like me, it can be hard to bypass that internal judge who makes me question things like my "ideal day." I'll do the previous exercise and then watch as my brain tells me all the reasons that I can't have that ideal day. One strategy for bypassing this internal critic is through stream of consciousness writing where you just let your brain go without giving the critic any time to comment.
If you want to try this, write the phrase "I want . . . " at the top of a new journal page. Then just let yourself go with thinking about what you want from work. Don't try to analyze or think. Just write. Let your mind flow from one thought into another. Keep the pen moving across the page. If you get stuck on what you want, then write "I don't know what I want . . . " or "I think I want . . . " and just keep things moving until a thought of what you really DO want comes to you. You may have to write "I don't know" 10 times before a new thought emerges. That's OK. The point is to keep the pen flowing to bypass that critical brain.
Keep this up until you're certain that you've written down everything that you're thinking. Don't end too early though--force yourself to keep going until you're truly empty. Then go back and read through what you've written. Underline, circle, highlight key phrases. Make notes or add to your thoughts. This will become valuable fodder for your mind to work on as you think about your passions and your gifts.
Now What?
Now you have your brain flowing a little, getting into the groove of thinking about yourself. As you go through your day, let your mind explore what you've written. Jot down notes or ideas as they come to you, but don't get all obsessive about it. This is something that needs to be discovered, not something that needs to be forced, so just let things happen as they will. Try to capture your thoughts, but not to control them.
With this started, you'll be more open to our next topic--exploring your passions.
Michele