Second Life

Are You Afraid of Your Parent's Fate?

Least I sound too naive or "goody-two-shoes" (a phrase I use and have no idea what it means) in yesterday's post, I wanted to write today about why my fiftieth year was such a break-through year for me. I had a wonderful birthday yesterday with good friends, good memories, feeling upbeat about the future. This morning I woke up thinking about my parents. Both have past on, dying way too early from worry and illnesses that shouldn't have taken them. My father went first. Truly, he drank himself to death after the company that he worked for many years as a salesman fired him right before he was eligible for retirement. He was one of their best salesman and became a regional manager of an area that included north Texas, Oklahoma and Kansas. Their children were born in Denver, Co. because a job he had took my parents to Denver, then to Kansas City for another job, then to Dallas-Fort Worth as a regional manager. I can remember wondering if I would ride a horse to school when we moved to Texas. Right before we moved, John F. Kennedy was assassinated in Dallas and I begged my parents not to move to a place that would kill the president. The price he ultimately paid for the regional manager job, which demanded a lot of traveling, was a family that viewed him as a stranger. I later hardly knew him except as that guy who live with us every other weekend. After his dismissal from the regional manager's position, he couldn't find comparable work because of his age he said. His final job was one as a night security guard.

My mother was my hero. She was very funny and insightful; for years after her death, I would sometimes catch myself reaching for the phone to share some funny political story or thought she would appreciate. She was one of the smartest women I have ever known; and as an adult, I was privileged to know her as a friend also. She worked in public accounting for most of her life. She had five corporate IRA audits that resulted in no change. That was a big deal. She never completed high school although she would hate that I told that. She taught herself everything. She taught me the world was mine inside of books. Both my mother and father taught us, my bother, myself, and my sister, that a good education (I think they both worried about their educations and wanted better for their children) and hard work would pay off. In the end, hard work didn't save either of them; and believe me they were the hardest working people I ever knew. Because my father had a previous marriage, they had child support and never had enough money to save. They counted on my father's retirement. My mother got a rare liver condition that I can't even type the name and needed a transplant. Ultimately, that was out of the question for financial reasons, and she died because she couldn't afford health care in this country. She worked everyday of her life since she was 14. I've held a job everyday of my life since I was 15. My mother got me my first job at her office. It was part-time because I had to buy my own car and get insurance.

I tell this story so that you understand why I have a fear of ending up the same way. After my divorce at age 32, I literally started over with just about nothing. After my mother died, I invested what little I inherited in my education, after all, that was the was to security. It was to some extent. My education got me a much higher paying job than I previously held, but security-that elusive thing come with having money in the bank, really has never materialized as I imagined. For most of my twenties and thirties, I never made enough money to save anything significant for retirement. That's why last night as a read the article I posting below, that old creeping dread came upon me and caused me to wake up thinking about my parent's final days.

The article was about the financial situation of many baby boomer women; and you guessed it, the story is not pretty. The article in the Los Angeles Times by Johnathan Peterson is entitled, "Old Story Rings True for Baby Boomer Women: Retirement is Tougher." The story is not much different than my parents.

The article states that the retirement security of women is jeopardized by some of the same workforce trends affecting men, such as cutbacks in corporate pensions (pensions pay for life while 401k's pay for as long as money is in the account, in other words- finite funds). The article states the financial insecurity of baby-boomer women is amplified by a confluence of factors, including: (from the article)

•  Higher overall rates of divorce and singlehood are causing record numbers of us to enter later life without the backup of a partner's savings and income (sometimes known as the Anna Nicole Smith plan. OK, that was just catty). Unmarried, older women (hello, that's me) have higher poverty rates than their male counterparts and much higher poverty rates than married women, government data show. Thanks, I'll sleep well tonight.

•  Interrupted working years. Although baby boom women generally have more education and work skills than their mothers, many quit jobs or worked part time to care for children or ailing relatives. Being in and out of the workforce during working years slashes retirement benefits.

•  Long lives. At age 65, women are expected to live an average of three years longer than men. This greater longevity magnifies several risks to retirement security, including raising the danger that a woman will outlast her savings or incur costly medical bills without help from a spouse. (Well, I'm back off that diet.) And the final nail in the coffin is that old, "oh by the way, you earn less than men and have less in the way of retirement benefits." Thanks, I forgot.

Evidently, we break down to the following:

About a third of us are doing so well that the future is "so bright they have to wear shades."

• Divorcees and older, never-married mothers to populate an impoverished bottom fifth in the coming years.
• The rest of us are what the article calls the "sprawling middle whose prospects are uncertain and who could be facing a future of diminished expectations" (OK, I'm back on the diet.)
  
  "That's the amazing thing about it," said Heidi Hartmann, president of the Institute for Women's Policy Research, a think tank that studies issues about women and families. "The women of the baby boom generation worked longer; they earned more; they had more education. They did everything right." (Hey, tell me about it, lady.)

So here's how I see it. For the top third of you: You Go Girl! Every advertiser has awakened to your power and countless articles, magazines (MORE, for example), and blogs are aimed at you, uh, and your money. You don't need our help. The world is waiting to kiss your ***, well you get it.

For the rest of us, a Second Life will include working for more years. What we are advocating is that you don't have to hate it; it can be a time of reaching potentials you didn't imagine. That's why we place an emphasis here on self and career development. Michele and I are among your number. We see ourselves in you, and we are passionate about sharing our journey and ideas (as well as other people's ideas) with you. I choose to see the future as mine to shape. I choose to not wait to be run over by the future, but to run toward it actively gaining the skills I need to stay competitive, as well as follow my passions. Join us, it's really better here than hiding in the dark afraid of your parent's fate. Believe me, I know.

Jann

Look for New Ways to Grow in 2007

As you might have gathered, today is my birthday. Thank you Michele for that cake because it's the only kind I will have till I reach a certain goal. Yeah, so I made losing weight a goal, how boring. Since it's my birthday, I can't help but look back on the past year and wonder about what I've accomplished. Quite a lot really. Last year this time, I was worried about the future of the public sector in which I am working and worried about the direction we are taking. Then I started exploring alternatives for myself, my own talents, and what I wanted for the future, and this exploration turned worried into excitement. I can't wait for 2007! I hope if you are reading this, it because you want a Second Life- one in which you are engaged and happy with what you are doing. I swear the first step is getting to know yourself. I can honestly say that when I turned fifty I didn't know nearly as much about myself as I do at fifty-one. With all the things you think are wrong about you (by the way, we all have faults), you are unique. I have said this in multiple posts-GET TO KNOW YOU. You really won't be sorry. You are not just a sum total of your occupation, marital status, culture, or parental status. It always humbles me to remember how unique each of us are; there has never been or will never be another you.

I spent the last year getting to know me, trying new things (including this blog), bouncing off ideas with smart people, and I came away with a new appreciation of what I have to offer and less fear of where I will fit into the future. We really have more power over our own futures than we think. We can adapt; we can even grow in the process. Anyway, that's what's happened to me in the last year. Believe me, no one thought they hated change more than me, but I saw it was necessary to survive and thrive. I learned to be excited about what lies in front of me even if I have no clear picture of what it may be. I learned more about my talents; and, in the next year I plan to expanding the skills in which I excel. Where I thought I dreaded learning new things and exposure to the unknown, I now look forward to it because I trust me more. All of this has really been the result of self-exploration. The world is great or scary, it's up to you. 

If I sound too preachy, I'm sorry. I just genuinely believe this because of the internal change I've experienced. OK, maybe part of this exuberance is all the sugar from the last piece of cheesecake I had last night. Hey, I'm entitled to a final taste of cheesecake!

Have a Good Day,

Jann

Happy Birthday Jann!

It's Not About Your Weight; It's About Your Health

Well it's that time of year again when we all think about improving. Naturally weight change (I'm guessing reduction as I don't think there are throngs out there saying if only I could gain 20 pounds)is one of the top choices for New Year resolutions.

I've been kinda fat and happy. I gave up trying to lose weight and decided I was happy with the way I was. However, I let that slip even further. As I am a veteran of every diet out there since I was in my twenties (I'm fifty, about to be fifty-one this week), I was frankly just tired of trying. I felt that thirty years, some much more lean and mean than others, of dieting was enough. I guess the rest of America joined me in that resolution, because we (USA) are now an obese nation. OK. OK. I don't think you can blame the WHOLE obesity thing on me, but I am doing my part.

Evidently, we should all be alarmed as it will effect health care costs, dogs and cats living together, and the end of civilization; anyway, they make it sound like that. But here is something truly alarming-one in two American children will develop diabetes! My math is bad but I'm pretty sure that's half! Part of the problem is we eat way too much. In Texas, where I live, if we don't give you a heaping plateful, we haven't fed you.

I remember my mother telling me about growing up on a farm in Missouri in the forties. They got up before sun-up and had a big breakfast. This probably consisted of eggs, bacon and biscuits. They then went into the fields and did intensely manual labor until noon. They didn't have a lot of automation. My mother helped by grandmother prepare the noon meal which consisted of fried chicken, masted potatoes, vegetables, and biscuits. (My mother killed the chickens and plucked them which is why you started so early!) The men then went back into the fields until dark continuing intensely manual labor. My point, we eat the same way, but we don't do the intense labor that was associated with those high calorie meals. If you look at pictures of my mother's family from that time period, they all look so thin.

Last night Frontline did a piece of the obesity of America. Well, OK, it's really a problem if Frontline is on it. The program was called the Diet Wars, and was pretty good. The thing I took away from the program was that we can change little things, if you're not committed to a full-on assault on your weight right now, and still have good health improvement. Lower your caloric intake by 100 calories a day. Start trying  to walk more. You can do this by just adding steps to your daily routine, if you truly hate exercising, such as parking further away from the building you work in. Take the stairs. Buy a pedometer to figure out your steps per day. They are cheap.

Well, all this talk of obesity has me willing to do at least this much. The problem with being overweight isn't that you are less of a person, it's that the health risks associated with the weight are more intense as we age. I can't think of anything sadder than to finally do the things you love, only to be knocked out by a health issue brought on by weight. We will probably live longer than any generation before us. But what would be the point if we don't have our health?

Here's some real easy, get started without too much pain way to change:This is from Health@RealAge.com. If you email them, they will send a daily healthy tip.

It Takes Three
Research shows that it may take as few as 3 weeks of healthy habits to lower your risk for heart disease. In a recent study, men who added exercise to their daily routine and adopted a low-fat, high-fiber diet experienced lower blood pressure readings and improved cholesterol levels after only 3 weeks.

You don't have to lose weight rapidly to reap rewards from exercise. Any exercise is better than none at all; even moderate-intensity exercise can improve your cholesterol levels and reduce your heart disease risk. Although you may not notice an immediate difference on the scale, your heart may benefit.
Walking: As Good as Jogging
In a recent study, overweight people who walked briskly for 12 miles per week experienced the same significant benefits to their cholesterol profiles as people who jogged 12 miles each week.
Take the Stairs
Climbing stairs could lower your triglycerides by 16%. According to one study, the benefits can come from as little as 6 minutes of climbing per day -- whether you use a stair-stepper at the gym or take the stairs in your office or home.

If you're charged up to do more, great. I encourage you to do so. Here's a web-site that I found because he commented on one of my posts. His name is Craig Harper and he is a motivational speaker, radio host, exercise scientist, and it would seem pretty nice guy. He was asked to give some motivational advise to several people who won exercise equipment. He, and they, are in Melbourne, Australia. It's the post of 12-22-06, Craig meets Kylie. Kylie is trying to lose weight and will post from time to time. I know I am going to be checking on Kylie's progress.

As for me, I'm starting by lowering my caloric intake and walking more. I'm getting my pedometer today! I've got too much to do to let my weight and/or the associated illnesses stop me. Hope you take the plunge if you've got a weight issue. Let's all be healthier in 2007!

Jann

Re-Invent Your Place in the World

I've been reading a book that I have to recommend to those of you working on your Second Life. It is, Thrive: Standing on Your Own Two Feet in a Borderless World, by Mike Cook. Mike is a founder of VitalWorks. Check out their resource list on their website. The book, Thrive, is found on the right under Inspiration and can also be found on the VitalWorks web site. I warn you, Mr. Cook is one of those writers that delivers an idea, builds a logical argument that forces you to really think about what he is proposing; and for me, it meant re-reading some of his chapters to get pass my own ideas and sometimes, misconceptions. Maybe that's just me. He tackles the subject of your relationship or interdependency with the world from the point of view of work. However, as you think of what he is actually saying regarding your relationships with those you work with, the premise can apply to all the relationships in your life. There is even a point in his book where he recommends that if you go further, you have to have bought into the premise; otherwise, give the book to someone else. I recommend you keep it.

In order to thrive in the borderless world, Mr. Cook maintains we have to take responsibility for the value-add we bring to all transactions with other people. You can't expect reward just because you worked hard. At first, this put me off because professionally, I am in workforce development and my natural inclination is that hard work should be rewarded. But as I think about and re-read his work, he is stating that our work must have value-add to others and we must be aware of the constant shift of this value in the world we live in, which is by and large, capitalistic. I then have to agree. I am constantly telling people that you must be life-long learners. Your skills are unique to you, but must be constantly up-graded so that you remain competitive in the workforce. I recommend to people that they see themselves as their own corporation selling their skills in the marketplace of the world.

He advocates knowing yourself through developing a life purpose, personal mission and work mission and how this will influence your choice (yes, your choice, not someone picking you) of workplace. He calls this chapter, "Don't Lead a Stupid Life." He also has a great chapter called, "The Meek Shall Inherit the Earth." The description says turning a greatly misunderstood spiritual teaching into a practical guide for maintaining an attitude that supports adaptability. I have read this chapter several times as I get more out of it in each read.

He also stresses the interdependency of all of our actions with each other. He discusses interaction with our work associates. Do people leave interactions with you satisfied, able to look forward to the next meeting, or do you make them pay the toll? He also makes a great point that as you have come to know "your own deal," it makes you increasing aware of the importance of understanding other people's "deals" with whom you interact. He is talking about understanding the what and why of what they are trying to accomplish. This then brings you to the question, "What are we trying to accomplish together?"

This goes well beyond mere results and into what the other person is trying to learn as they move ahead, and what future state they want to arrive at. So you are really working to get to know this person as their working commitments, not simply as a personality or a set of competencies.

This is about mutual relationships: serving those who serve you. Mr. Cook states this helps us understand the level of engagement that we, and the others around us, have with the mutual work we are trying to accomplish. Have you ever worked with someone who didn't bring to the goal, the kind of commitment you thought they should? This was very eye-opening for me as I have had working relationships that I have resented because I felt I was dragging my workmates to the final goal with very little help from them. The concepts in this book allowed me to revisit those relationships in light of the fact that maybe my work goal was different from theirs. It really is an empowering idea.

He clearly lays out a path for mutual "win-win" relationships that can only help build your work reputation in the best way. Mike's premise of working in a borderless world give a contextual reference to two books I have found incredibly helpful. They are both listed to the right. He advocates knowing your skills and strengths as well as those around you and working for you. This is wonderfully described in, Now Discover Your Strengths. Mr. Cook also discusses how crucial communication skills are in the borderless world. He recommends, Crucial Conversations: Tools for talking when stakes are high.

I highly recommend this book if you are looking for ways to reinvent yourself in your work and personal life. Reinvention is really about looking at something from a new perspective or use. This book pulls together multiple ideas that I have embraced for myself and given a clear road-map as to how to apply them.

Jann

Happy Holidays

Here's a bit of Christmas cheer from Australia. If you've got time, watch the whole nine minutes because it's impressive. Michele and I wish you a wonderful holiday season and hope your New Year is full and enriching. I personally have a really good feeling about 2007. Thanks to all of you of have visited this site and we really appreciate your comments. This was on YouTube. There are multiple videos, so if you like this, go there for more. Type in Christmas.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

Jann and Michele

Make 2007 the Year you find out about you

As the year is ending, we naturally think about the past year and the future. This morning I thought of my grandmother. She lived to be 100 and she told wonderful stories of her youth. One of her stories is of crossing Oklahoma in a cover-wagon! She was born in the 1880S and was a remarkable women. She also saw man land on the moon. Whenever, I think I have to deal with a lot of change, I think of her.

It's funny how we live in our own little world. While I was amazed at the amount of change my grandmother witnessed, I never imagine as a young girl that I would see that kind of revolutionary change in my own life, and yet we baby-boomers have seen as more or more. We live in a world where ideas travel across an Internet and connect us, not within days, or hours, but within minutes and seconds! Some call this a flat world after Thomas Friedman's book, The World is Flat or some call it a borderless world. But there is no doubt, the many of us have already experienced the effects of the flat world through lay-offs or jobs moving overseas. If you personally haven't. I'm sure you know people who have. Compounded to this is the loss of retirement benefits which are parents knew. My grandfather retired from the "railroad" and drew a nice pension all his retirement life. People worked twenty-five or thirty years and then they retired. But people also didn't live as long. Living to a 100 was a big deal for my grandmother's generation, for ours it will be common.

If your one of those blessed people who did well and are about to retire as a "baby-boomer" and you got plenty of money to do it with, I envy and admire you. I know there are entire communities trying to attract you with golf courses, and glorious living. Imagine, there are entire communities trying to set-up an economy around making you happy! It is amazing to me.

I am not one of you, and I suspect for every one retiree that doesn't have to worry about financial stability, there are ten of us who never got to save like that. It reminds me of the old story and cartoon of the grasshopper and the ant. It was told to tell you to save. I've worked hard all my life, (have had a job continuously since I was 15), but I never accumulated a retirement. My divorce in my thirties left me with nothing, requiring me to start over again. After my divorce, I spent a long time barely getting by as I invested in my education. It was a good move, but it put me behind financially (especially retirement wise) and career ladder wise. And now because of this borderless world, I can't even count on that job.

I spent a few years worrying about this and then I started to see opportunity in this flat, borderless world. With the help of Michele, I started to see that I was more than a current occupation; I was a set of unique talents and skills sets that I could use to change my life. That is when the start-up of Second Life happened for Michele and I. We wanted to take our unique sets of skills and do the things we were passionate about, like helping others.

I highly encourage you to get to know you. When I was first asked what my skills were, I honestly couldn't answer. I stated by occupation. I think a lot of us take a job and then become that occupation, but believe me and Michele, you are so much more. Make 2007 the year you discover you. I can promise you won't regret it. I will be posting different tools you can use and web-sites I find interesting.

Jann

Ebay Can Make You Rich!

Well, I'm feeling guilty. I am not doing my usual morning posts because I am on vacation and sleeping in! Well, sleeping in as much as anybody can who has three cats.

Ebay University. Yes, I typed university and Ebay in the same title. My ears perked up as I was listening while at Sonic. (I've got to tell you those tropical Smoothies are to die for!)  EBay very smartly runs a university about buying and selling on EBay. I know friends of friends who swear they know somebody who retired and works selling things full-time on EBay. I've tried half-heartedly on several occasions to sell stuff on Ebay when I've gotten fed-up with my 9-5 job. (I'll show them; I'm gonna become one of those friends of friends who retired to work at sell stuff on Ebay all day.)

Yesterday, NRP did a story on Ebay.I went to NPR to find the link for you but to no avail. However, (I swear this is what the reporter said, I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP) the reporter told a story of someone who took the stuffing out of their sofa, arranged it artistically and sold it on EBay for $52.00!

The reporter broke a pencil in two, arranged it, and sold it on EBay for $28.00.

The picture to the  right is from Flickr. I wanted to find the NPR story because they had a picture of the broken pencil that sold for $28.00. If any of you find that, please let me know. Anyway, artists everywhere are shuddering right now. I can just hear Michele. (She actually has artistic talent and draws and paints). Hear that high shrill scream coming from the Northeast? That's Michele.

I told you that I was going to post more about financing your dreams. Sometimes, I think it's not about waiting for that one big ship to come in, but about how many pencils you can break and pawn off as art. Well, you know what I mean. The link above is for EBay University. Hey, I wonder if they play in any conferences? Wonder what their float looks like in the Rose Bowl parade? OK, I'll stop, I've got to go pull the stuffing out of my sofa and break some pencils anyway. Hey, I wonder if I could create a market for hair balls?

Jann

Plan for the New Year and Become What You Want Others to See

As the year ends, I've been thinking about what I've accomplished personally and with friends. I've also been thinking about what I want for myself in 2007. I'm not big on new year resolutions, but I am big on planning. I believe that half of getting where you want, if figuring out some course to get there. Do plans change, absolutely! I think if was President Eisenhower (US, right before Kennedy, also a general) who said something like the plan is nothing; planning is everything. I am a planner in my worklife (among other things) for a governmental agency. I have learned that it is the PROCESS of planning that is so important, not so much the final document. It is in the process that you start to visualize, figure out ways to overcome obstacles, and hardwire a dream into your brain. As I posted earlier about changing habits, new goals and dreams have to be reinforced in your mind. Do something daily that takes you to your dreams, start planning.

Additionally for me, I like to think about who I want to be personally, how people feel after interacting with me. I thought up a mnemonic device to help me:

W A I F- I choose it for two reasons. First: a waif is described as a child without a home or friends. That is what you become if you let your world experience make you bitter. Second: Waif can also mean a stray article or item unowned by anyone. I kinda think of myself like that, and finally a stray piece of information, like a "waif of gossip (dictionary), I prefer a "waif of truth or information," which is what I hope this blog is for you.

I want people who interact with me to experience a:

Warm person who listens to people, not just waiting for her turn to talk

Attentive and action oriented person who is aware of the world around her, the needs of the people around her and takes action where she can to help and achieve her own dreams. (Whew, big one!)

Idealistic person who is not afraid to share and express ideas about making the world a better place.

Friendly and funny person that they enjoy working with and want to interact with again.

Jann

Be Bold! Career Planning for the Non Profit World

I've reported in earlier posts how many of us are turning to volunteerism in our Second Life. A recent report noted the volunteerism in the US is at an all-time high; and I do think it directly correlates with us baby-boomers looking for ways to contribute. If you are looking for a way to devote more of your time to a cause you are passionate about, maybe it's not volunteerism, but a career change you should consider. Non-profits are being called to action like never before and they are always looking for people of experience and talent. One of the major discussions at a recent non-profit town hall meeting was how do we get more talented people into the non-profit world.

Michele sent this great link for non-profit career planning. It's called, Be Bold. It's tagline is create a career with impact. I love that. Be bold enough to think you can make a difference; be bold enough to change the world. It's a great site and I invite you to look it over, even if you don't think you want to join the non-profit world right now.

Jann